The Girl

My eating disorder is so all consuming that sometimes I forget that there is a person beyond the illness
I've been diagnosed with so many labels - drug addict, alcoholic, anorexic, bulimic, depression and anxiety
It's easy to forget that I'm much more than just a bundle of diagnoses

Writing this 'About me' section has really got me thinking 'Who  is Ruby?' and 'What am I all about?'

So here goes-


First and foremost I'm a huge book worm. My house is heaving with books
A few of my favourites are -     'The best of everything'  by Rona Jaffe
                                                 'Wintergirls'  by Laurie Halse Anderson
                                                 'The Bell Jar'  by Sylvia Plath
                                                 'Junky'  by William S Burroughs

I read my favourite books over and over again. The characters are like my friends. The stories describe my life. They put in to words what I am not able to

Since starting this blog in May 2012 I discovered that I have a love of writing. I used to study ballet and that was how I expressed myself. Since I gave it up I became increasingly frustrated as I has no outlet for my feelings.
Now writing has given me that outlet. Writing helps to clear my head, to make sense of something.
After writing I feel like a weight has been lifted, like a pressure has been released

My dogs
I'm a huge animal lover
When I first got clean off drugs I got 2 rescue dogs from the local shelter
'Lea' a beautiful golden retriever and 'Honey' a feisty little terrier
These dogs have saved my life over and over again.  When I couldn't find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, I got up for them.  When I didn't want to leave the house, I left to walk them.
They take me out of myself and give unconditional love

I love to dance.  I studied ballet and jazz for years and I wanted to become a dancer.  It was my absolute passion. But as a teenager I started dabbling in drugs and lost all interest. It is my only regret that I gave up my beloved ballet.  Now I dance for fun, it's something that brings me real joy. Whether it's in my bedroom with the radio on full blast or in a class doing salsa or zumba. I also used to teach hip hop to kids. Dancing is a natural high for me.

I'm a huge movie, tv and box set fan
My favourite box sets are -
The Sopranos - wtached back to back 3 times
Grey's Anatomy - Ditto
Weeds - could identify with that one!
Breaking Bad - tried meth once, never again!

My favourite tv programmes at  the moment are -
Girls - so funny, so real
Downton Abbey - I was born in the wrong part of this century
Homeland - gotta love Brody
Any food related programme eg Come dine with me

Music is a big escape for me
At the moment I'm listening to a lot of Lana Del Rey
Bat for Lashes

Other tidbits about me -

I'm a dreamer

I'm passionate, if I like something I absolutely love it, if I don't like it, I hate it

I love the smell of toast

I love waking up in the morning and realising that I don't have to get up

I'm not happy

I'm more of a listener than a talker

I love clothes - At the moment I am wearing a lot of leggings as they are just so forgiving

I love tea - I drink copious amounts

My favourite food is Italian (although I rarely let myself eat it)

I'm a bit lost

I am the baby of the family and am treated so

I love to travel

I'm a  former smoker, I smoked for over 20 years. I am now off them over a year

My best feature is my eyelashes - no need for falsies here

I'm a loyal friend

My favourite colours are purple and navy

Sometimes I feel hopeless

My dream job is to help others overcome addictions and eating disorders

In my head I'm still 16

I'd love to be able to sing but I don't have a note in my head

My worst feature is my feet

I love the smell of puppies and babies

If I could choose a super power, I'd like to be able to fly

I'm a typical virgo

I get depressed easily



  1. you are 30. the girl is a woman. a wonderful one.

  2. Beautifully-put bio Ruby! You are an interesting and wonderful person :) Love the blog revamp and all the inspiring pics and quotes! :)

    1. I love this!! I don't think I have ever seen such a clever way to say this is who I am. Love yourself Ruby, when you do that, the dreams you have will become a reality. Because you will give you everything you deserve and desire and forgive yourself for all the crappy things addiction in your life has done. I know it sounds too simple, but it can be. Have a look at Louise Hay, your a bookworm, she has a website. Many blessings ...... from New Zealand

  3. Such a cute way to describe yourself! I just stumbled upon your blog today, but seeing that this blog went from "and then she disappeared" to "and then she recovered," I can already say that (even though I may not know you or your story) I am so proud of you!! ....Lots of Love, Cecile's friend

  4. I love how you've summed yourself up ^^

  5. Beautiful! x

  6. You are one hell of a woman. Really like your honesty and ability to show yourself. Nobody is perfect. Or all grown up. Or totally happy. The best people are the real ones.

  7. I just stumbled upon your blog today

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